She's a crazy drunk

She’s a crazy drunk.

No, I really mean it.

There are people who are drunk and it makes them crazy
Then there are those who are crazy and then they drink, to cope.
Like that one, that keeps cleaning the walls with her ping pong ball.
They kind of shuffle along. They don’t rush anywhere even to the liquor store.
She’s there, sober now, locked up and crazy as a betsy bug.
Unable to be treated at all until later. Later when all the drugs and alcohol have worn off.
When she’s there with only her own personal dragons surrounding her.
With the knowledge that she should be different knowing this is all she has ever been.
Nothing has ever made it all right, really. The best she has ever gotten is a little abatement on the battle.
She screams in agony and fear as the dragons taunt her, but no sound comes out.
What we get to see is a little girl smile a sort of nod and a shuffle. That is what the training has done. That is what has gotten the goods.
This world can honor that in her. They cannot honor the reactions to being surrounded by dragons, when they see that they run away and are afraid. Then she’s all alone with them. On her own. Everyone knows that’s bad. So she pretends and makes the little girl smile until she can’t and sometimes it’s embarrassing and she scares people. She tries harder, and harder. She’s getting better at the smile, the nod, the shuffle. She’s getting old from it, but that’s ok. She always knew she’d never be a great beauty. That was never going to be her way of getting by.

So those people come and watch and see and try to imagine what is really her, so they can “assess”. Then they watch when she doesn’t know and they assess some more.
In all of this there is no mercy.
They give her drugs they keep talking but know she really doesn’t care what they say.
The beasts are resting now but she is really alone because she can’t really hear anyone.
So there’s not much to do till it all comes back, so she smiles, and nods, and shuffles