I remain

Try not to listen
I try again, but I can hear the sound.
My heartbeat alone.
It is like a harsh music that pounds into me,
you are here alone
Steady each and every moment, it tells me,
you are alone, there is only you.
No one is here, no one.
Just you and you and you alone.

This ardent music comes at me each minute of the day,
It moves me to do the most ridiculous things.
I moves me to try to forget, but it is there,
and then still I hear it.
It remains unceasing.
I can be easily distracted but not for long enough.
It is always there, in me,
in my very self, telling me again,
just you, it is only you, just you, you are here alone.

Time passes, life moves on,
I continue to hear this music but not attend it’s pounding loneliness.
It has becomes like the dust on the television, neglected and ignored,
now I don’t even see it when I cast my eyes across my life.
It is there.
If someone was very close to me I would notice it, but it has become a part of the landscape of the every day.

Life is a river of experiences moving the shape of the land around. As this river begins to change me, things fall in and out of my life.
With each change, I take a sharp notice of the sound.
I hear it, I accept it, I begin to know deep in me that it is not what I thought.
It is a comfort to me.
It is there steady each and every moment, it tells me,
I am here, alone and there is only me and yet I sustain,
I remain.

I moves me to do the most amazing things.
It moves me to love better and more and with a wider brushstroke,
it distracts me not at all.
It helps reassure me that my fear is an illusion,
that I am enough, alone here in this domain,
I am strong.
It is there, in my very self to tell me again,
just you, it is only you, just you…and I remain